These are the in-depth questions I asked them:
- Do you believe nice guys finish last?
- Do you think most men are pigs?
- Do you resent or think most women like to date jerks?
- Do you feel nice guys are taken advantage of?
- Do you think it is better to be nice, or would you rather be a dick?
- Would other people agree that you are a nice guy?
- Would you rather be respected or liked?
- Are you drawn to bitches and un-nice women?
- Do you equate or think people take niceness for weakness?
- Any other thoughts you would like to share (but please keep it brief)
(Answers to the first two questions are the subject in Part II of this series.)
3. Do you resent or think most women like to date jerks?
a) No, but most of us are
b) No, I don't resent women, but I do believe a lot of women seem to seek out the 'bad boy', then ask Why? when it falls apart. I've found women say , "You're really nice, but I need something else." When you act evasive and non-committal, women seem to chase you. The female ego looking to reassure themselves they are valued and desired; esp. mid 30s and divorced women.
c) "And what so poor a man as Hamlet is may do, to express his love and friending to you, God willing, shall not lack."
d)I don't care what most women do; I'm interested in a very small percentage of them.
e)I resent women who try to use sex/love/attraction to get what they want. Jerks keep women entertained. Nice can be predictable. I think women bore of nice guys. They like "bad boys" because regular guys bore chix.
f)Women are as different as plants, no two are the same. What they are attracted to varies by individual.
4. Do you feel nice guys are taken advantage of?
a)Yes. By Women Especially and life to a lesser degree
b)Nice guys are taken advantage of because they allow it
c) nice guys are players only they try to pull women in by getting them to feel sorry for them. They let themselves get taken advantage of hoping they can create guilt and pity
d)yes, we just want to have fun too
e) People DO take advantage of nice guyz so it's wise to keep an open mind to peoples' motives. Women love nice guys as emotional support and unwittingly lead them on to keep them interest enough to stay around, but still keep them at arms length
5. Do you think it is better to be nice, or would you rather be a dick?
a) Usually NG overlook the B.S. until they can't take it anymore and then have to become a dick
b)I'd rather be nice. Dicks attract dicks
d)I think it is best to be a bit of both
e)I'd rather be myself. How I react to people varies from person to person
6. Would other people agree that you are a nice guy?
a)50/50. I call people on bullshit so...
b)Most would agree I'm nice, but people who cross me or my family or bully people I know wouldn't say so. I can be nice, but I'm not weak
d)The people that really know me think I'm a nice guy. I'm too odd/honest for many people sometimes so I might seem like a dick, aloof, or just too weird
e)Some people think I'm nice, some people think I'm an asshole. Most likely people would have various takes on me. Our interactions differ from person to person
P.S. Hamlet dropped out of this survey by this point--just after question 2B
7. Would you rather be respected or liked?
a) Respected. I really don't think about what others think. I don't care really, but I can say there are people who think I'm an asshole, but still respect me
b)Respected. Respect is earned based on actions. Liked is based usually on persona. Reputation, community, work place standing, and reputations are made of a 100 rumors and one lie. People who like you may do so for their own personal gain
8. Are you drawn to bitches or Nice-ish women?
a)no. I avoid drama queens, people who exhibit narcissistic behavior, and people with borderline tendencies
b)I seem to, but made a conscious decision to base attraction on the contents of heart and mind, not what's contained in bra and knickers. I've found the vain, attractive (in my younger years) women tend to base their self worth on looks, so they can be spiteful to other women they see as a threat. They usually have no substance
e)Naw, but I'm a magnet for bitches and whores
9. Do you equate or think people take niceness for weakness?
a) The world we live in, yes!
b)yes. People see niceness as a weakness, but I find it to be a great strength in the face of evil. To break the cycle of revenge takes great courage and conviction. Doing the right thing can be hard
c)Niceness and weakness are two different things. They are not related to each other
d)Sometimes yes. People confuse having boundaries with being a dick. My lens might be bad though. My wife used to complain she thought I was a dick, but the nicer I became, the bitchier SHE became toward ME. Nice didn't work fo her. Women say they want nice guys but seem to ultimately want a hot exciting guy. That seems to be first priority followed by money, then love and trust. A powerful charismatic guy trumps the nicest average guy in the wold. Woman who say they prefer the nice guy only say that because they don't think they can pull the hot guy
10. Any other thoughts you would like to share (but please keep it brief)
a)Please be kind and remember to rewind!
b)Guys who say they are nice are usually manipulative by nature. I don't know a SINGLE nice guy who would say he is nice. Nice people don't think that way or need that kind of feedback
A final contributor had this to say on the topic in general:
"I am a human being of the male persuasion."