Shark attacks are on the rise because sharks are the primary target of dolphins "death-ray" sonic bursts. In an effort to rid the seas of "the disposable scum element" as they call it. DHN Channel 5 obtained this rare interview with Marine Sergeant Flapper, "We have taken matters into our own hands and have decided to rid the seas, and world in general, of the slippery bottom feeding dregs of society. "
Flapper stated, "These are mammals who will not be missed by anyone and serve no purpose other than to terrorize animals and people. They bullied the whales so badly that many left the planet.They might be big, but they are very sensitive about their weight. They were teased mercilessly."
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| "Words DO hurt. I'd rather be speared than hear, "Hey Flubber Butt, whatcha been eating--Blubber nuggets? " |
"We reserve our death ray for only the worst of the worst. PETA were on our case so we had to deal with them as saboteurs of justice. "
"Some are still in underwater caves and reefs with scuba gear. We wanted to show them the underwater war happening while an unsuspectling public suns themselves and surf. The only clue they have is sharks sneaking up on them and eating them strictly for the sport of it. They don't actually LIKE the taste of human."
The U.S. Navy trained the dolphins as well as CA sea lions and bottlenose dolphins—to find and retrieve equipment lost at sea and to identify intruders swimming into restricted areas. The dolphins are also used to detect underwater mines, either buried in the seafloor or floating from an anchor.
.http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/03/140328-navy-dolphin-sea-lion-combat-ocean-animal-science/
The dolpins keep a low profile, but if you would like to get involved, please contact:
vigilanteflippers@takinoutthetrash.com
I think the Dolphin Times photo should read "United we swim, divided we sink." While dolphins can be trained to stand on their tails, this is only for a short period of time, like people doing hand stands. The dolphins might like "standing" for fun, but I expect they do it mostly for the fish rewards.
ReplyDeleteThatz a very good slogan Josh!I'll run it by the dolphins after translating it into click. Dolphins performing circus tricks for fish are really no different than humans are they?
ReplyDelete