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Sunday, July 12, 2015

Why you Want your Daughter to Marry a Pirate

 If your kids like clean-cut banker types, it's time to start 'stearing' them in a different direction. Why your daughter should marry a pirate instead? Here are the perks: 

1.  share hair ties and make up
2. Hygiene becomes irrelevant
3. Always a view of the water
4. they are bad boys, but good providers
5. Always be bejeweled in Gold and Silver
6.  they are adventurous
7. Acquire and live in multiple residences
8. become a  Pastafarian  and member of The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and eat all the carbs you want!  Find more info at:
9. they love pets i.e. parrots and thieving monkeys
10. liquid assets
11. you can wear Cool Viking hats (Vikings were pirates)
12. Brave-- will sword fight, lose limbs, even eyes for you
13. Potential for space travel (there are space pirates who capture and pillage spaceships)
 14. protect you against sea ninjas ( they are arch enemies)
15. learn pirate speak (very popular at parties)

Pirate Lingo, Phrases

  • Ahoy - A pirate greeting, or a shout to attract an attention. Something like "Hello!" or "Yo!".
  • Arrr, Arrgh, Yarr, Gar - A common pirate terms, which are used in different situations.
  • Avast - An order to stop and pay attention.
  • Aye - "Yes"
  • Aye aye - Conformation, taking order from the captain.
  • Belay - Usually means to tie something down but pirates used it to prevent someone to do something.
  • Booty – The treasures and other values plundered from the victim ships.
  • Bucko - A friend.
  • Davy Jones's Locker - A graveyard for people killed or drowned at the sea.
  • Dead men tell no tales - Means that a dead man cannot reveal any secret or fact. It was the reason why the pirates didn't like to spare any survivors.
  • I'll Crush Ye Barnacles - A common pirate's treat.
  • Jolly Roger - The well-known pirate flags, usually represented with symbols of a skull and the crossbones. The most recognized symbol of the pirates.
  • Lad - A younger person.
  • Letters of Marquee - A document issued by a government, which allowed the privateers and the buccaneers to legally attack the ships and the colonies of an enemy nation.
  • Maroon - To leave prisoners on island or desert coast.
  • Matey - A companion, a close friend.
  • Prize - A ship captured by pirates.
  • Savvy - "Do you understand?"
  • Sea Rover - A pirate, a pirate ship.
  • Shiver me timbers - idiom for surprise, shock. Usually used when a ship is hit in combat.
  • Smartly - To do something quickly.
  • Sweet trade - Another term for the trade of piracy.
  • Walk the plank - When someone is forced to walk on a plank, with hands tied behind. Plank is extended over the side of a ship, and victim is usually forced to jump to water and drown. Shown today as main pirates' amusement, although only a few real pirates practiced that.
  • Weigh anchor - "let's go", "get ready to sail on".
  • Yo-ho-ho - Salutation, expression of delight. 
 So smartly grab yourself a pirate and say Yo-ho-ho as your daughter walks down the plank and searches the sea for buried treasure so you can retire wealthy!! Best retirement plan ever!!!

The Movie, "Why you Want your Daughter to Marry A Pirate" is being released in the Fall. It is a documentary of my daughter and her exciting adventures and marriage to Fish Breath Pablo!
On the Set of "Why You Want Your Daughter to Marry a Pirate" waiting for the catering truck

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