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Sunday, May 17, 2015

The World According to a Nice-ish Guy (PART TWO)

For those of you that didn't read PART ONE of this TWOish PART series, this is a piece about the male perspective. I found some self-identified  "nice guys" and grilled them with  carefully crafted questions.

Let me start with the NG (Nice-ish Guy)  who said, "I'm an asshole when it comes to questionnaires." He did manage to give me some very brief answers to my probing interrogation. It isn't really important that you know the questions, since his answers are all either YES, NO, MAYBE or a combination of the three. He says, " A circular mind is better than a linear mind in this case." I really thought I should just stop this whole charade there, but how fun would that be?

Many men disqualified themselves immediately by honestly declaring themselves assholes, and I took others complete silence as an admission of the same. I tend to believe them, afterall who would lie about a thing like that?

One went so far as to say, "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just not a nice guy. I would kill all of my neighbors if it weren't for consequences." But my question is, are the neighbors assholes? Would it be a public service?  No one can tell me they didn't take some pleasure in seeing Dexter killing all those scumbags. Of course we are not condoning violence or anything illegal of any kind, but I think Dexter would probably call himself a NG at the end of the day.

For anyone lamenting "Where are all the nice guys?" I say, expand your mind to include the NG Continuum--move that slider down.  Oh, and read what (some) men REALLY think and not what you WANT them to think. If you are disappointed with their answers, please handle it privately because they don't want to hear that crap (no one said that, that's just what I think). 

These are the questions followed by a compilation of all NG answers: 
  1. Do you believe nice guys finish last?
  2. Do you think most men are pigs?
  3. Do you resent or think most women like to date jerks?
  4. Do you feel nice guys are taken advantage of?
  5. Do you think it is better to be nice, or would you rather be a dick?
  6. Would other people agree that you are a nice guy?
  7. Would you rather be respected or liked?
  8. Are you drawn to bitches and un-nice women?
  9. Do you equate or think people take niceness for weakness?
  10. Any other thoughts you would like to share (but please keep it brief)

    1. Do you believe nice guys finish last?
     (a)Yes, I DO believe nice guys finish last, especially in business. In smaller communities though, the nice guy has an advantage in terms of business.  The smaller the community the nicer you need to be to succeed in business, and with relationships as well.
    (b)Sometimes they finish in the middle.
    (c) Yes, because they are self-pitying assholes.
    (d)Maybe as the world perceives it. We are kind and look for the best in people first, which makes us easier to take advantage of. That part sucks, but in the end we have good karma.
    (e) (Subject E chose to answer the questions pretending that he was Hamlet) "A little more than kin, and less than kind."
    (f)YES NO
    (g)Nice guys usually finish last
    (h) NO

    2. Do you think most men are pigs?
    (a) absolutely
    (b) I believe a majority of men are pigs in regard to respect & loyalty to women. Usually the ones who put on a show and act all pious are the ones who stray the most. 
    (c) I think men are men, not pigs or cows or chickens.
    (d) No, but most of us are.
    (e)Pig is being used as a metaphor here so this is hard to answer. As a force of nature, most men will fuck as many women as they can get. They are kinkier than they admit and I think men cheat more than women.
    (g)O What a rogue and peasant slave am I!
    (h) No. There are truly nice guys out there, but they would never tell anyone they're a nice guy. People would just know.

    More amazing answers in PART THREE in this TWOish PART series!  Stay Two-ed!!

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