Crystal Harmonic Convergence on Blue Moon

Please tune your crystals to Indigo 4 for the blue moon on July 31, 2015. We will be shifting from pink to blue, which could create some turbulence in the noosphere.


 If Indigo 4 is jammed, please tune to Cobalt 5 and filter through violet. Any discrepancy in color ray synchronization could cause catastrophic blue dust storms on Caliphax O.4.

 Cali dust storms during an earth blue moon are lethal to  life-sustaining plant life, as it brings out the dust bunnies who ravage the crops.

Retailers are cashing in on the mass hysteria by selling insensitive home decor and trinkets like this, although this is the most accurate visual depiction of the blue dust eating bunnies:

People of Earth-- The World Will Be Going Offline

The World Will Be Going Offline Today From 12pm -1pm. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. 

Earth Guardians will be recalibrating the axis and tweeking the magnetic poles. Heavy downloading of the revolution by insurgents has created an imbalance.

Earth WILL be back online at 1pm, so please do not panic and call your service provider.

 I GUARANTEE you will be on hold longer than it takes to do this complete earth overhaul. 

This might be a good time to reacquaint yourself with the sun, family, friends, and anyone affected by your obsessive dependence on technology.

Others who know the risks of this scheduled earth maintenance, please retreat to your pods (sponsored by Tide)