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Saturday, May 20, 2017

World's Smartest Cat Discovered

"Brainy McBrainerstein" has set the World's Record for the cat with the highest IQ.

His proud owners attribute it to playing classical music while he was in utero, playing Baby Cat Einstein on a loop, and a pure vegan diet.

Brainy is able to solve complicated  problems and fill in the bubbles by dipping his tail in #2 ink, like his ancient ancestors.

The IQ test was minimally adapted:

"You are being chased by a dog running 5 miles an hour. 
You need to stop and lick your butt. How long will it take the dog to eat you?"

"Write an essay on something that makes you purr."

Brainy does his owners' taxes, predicts weather, trades stocks and bonds, writes cursive, calligraphy, and can pinpoint the catnip in  100 mile radius. 

He calculates everything based on  complex algorithms he developed with

Zuckerberg's cat. 

On a side note, "Little Fuckerberg"  had a facebook page that was reported (by an anonymouse source) and taken down for not having a verifiable name.

B McB  predicts human beings will be extinct by the year 3000,  by which he will have achieved immortality 9 times over.

Brainy McBrainerstein  in action!!!

He will be going live on instagram every Monday from 2 -3 feline time, and taking questions!!

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Spare the aliens a brain hack- Just say what's on your mind!