World's Smartest Cat Discovered

"Brainy McBrainerstein" has set the World's Record for the cat with the highest IQ.

His proud owners attribute it to playing classical music while he was in utero, playing Baby Cat Einstein on a loop, and a pure vegan diet.

Brainy is able to solve complicated  problems and fill in the bubbles by dipping his tail in #2 ink, like his ancient ancestors.

The IQ test was minimally adapted:

"You are being chased by a dog running 5 miles an hour. 

You need to stop and lick your butt. How long will it take the dog to eat you?"

"Write an essay on something that makes you purr."

Brainy does his owners' taxes, predicts weather, trades stocks and bonds, writes cursive, calligraphy, and can pinpoint the catnip in  100 mile radius. 

He calculates everything based on  complex algorithms he developed with

Zuckerberg's cat. 

On a side note, "Little Fuckerberg"  had a facebook page that was reported (by an anonymouse source) and taken down for not having a verifiable name.

B McB  predicts human beings will be extinct by the year 3000,  by which he will have achieved immortality 9 times over.

Brainy McBrainerstein  in action!!!

He will be going live on instagram every Monday from 2 -3 feline time, and taking questions!!

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down

Hedgehogs for Breakfast!

Dirty Hedgehog? No problem....

How to Have Fun with your HedgeHog!!!

If you think having a pet with painful spikes that give you a rash and hisses at you constantly is an awesome idea, then you are not alone.

But what do you actually DO with a hedgehog?

Sure they like to run on their wheels and get their heads stuck in paper towel rolls, but how can you play with them?

Here is the perfect idea sent to me by our Telepath Content Coordinator:

 Take your Hedgie to the indoor swimming pool!!

The Hedgehog Boogie is already trending on twitter and is the hottest dance since the Whip and Nay Nay.

Proud Sponsor of the Telepath Telegraph!!!

Have you ever owned a goldfish?  

Train to be a professional shadow dog walker today!

Art by David Stafford

Join the growing number of people entering the exciting field of shadow pet care. Look forward to rainy days off, no poop bags, no drool, and absolutely NO barking!!  Now enrolling--Financial Aid Available.  Go ahead.  Pick up the phone-your new career awaits you!!!

Polite Cat!!!! Who says cats aren't trainable!!

Man's Best Drug

FULL STORY HERE: http://thenosemilk.com/special/mans-best-drug/dd caption

Free Giveaway in honor of Supreme Court Ruling

The Supreme Court ruled Friday that same-sex couples have a right to marry nationwide, in a historic decision that invalidates gay marriage bans in more than a dozen states.

In honor of this long overdue ruling, we are having a rainbow kitten giveaway! 

As far back as 2020, cats were only grey, black, brown, orange, and white

 

Find yours at the Far East end of your particular birth ray-- but hurry!!   These kittens are the fast grow variety!

Get one to match your couch, curtains, decor and more

FastGrow Kittens turn into Tigers in less than 2 weeks

Animal Hoarding Moves to a Dangerous New Level

Even though the term is 'crazy cat lady' animal hoarding isn't just reserved for women. There are plenty of men who hoard, THEY are just called collectors. 

Luckily, there is a toy that will not alienate either gender. Crazy Cat Lady figurines are dolls, but they are CALLED action figures.  You get one of these flea bitten beauties in her robe and slippers and SIX cat figures.  

Many crazy cat people across the globe have received these as gifts. Even given with the best of intentions as a subtle kind of intervention, it has created a NEW problem.  Feline fanatics have begun hoarding crazy cat lady cat figures!  When it was discovered that you could buy more cat figures sans the doll, cat statues flew off the shelves!

Granted this isn't as dangerous as collecting ACTUAL cats, but in houses with little space for human habitation, this is monumental.  

Some psychologists believed it might actually be therapeutic and pitched the idea of  adding litter boxes, fleas, and urine spray to the toy. They reasoned that buying the toys might quell the urge to acquire live animals. 

The opposite has happened. The toy allows hoarders to see it more as a fun game than a serious addiction.

 

So if you are considering buying this as a gift for someone, know that it is not as harmless as it appears. Consider something else cat related like  cat butt refrigerator magnets or a cat hammock.

 Here are links to the extra cat package. If you see this on their favorites list, they might have a problem.

http://www.amazon.com/12-Assorted-Cats-2-5-inch-PVC/dp/B004THL0ZO/ref=pd_bxgy_21_img_y

http://www.amazon.com/Dozen-Plastic-2-Cat-Figures/dp/B00362MMBO/ref=pd_bxgy_21_img_z

If you or someone you know is suffering from compulsive toy cat collecting, please seek help at your nearest addictions center.

 This article sponsored by Amazon.com