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Showing posts with label feline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feline. Show all posts

Sunday, July 3, 2016

16 lbs of Kayke!

Phatt Kayke is an extremely average house cat. If you have ever felt like a loser that has no friends, then you need to support her!!

If she went to public school, she would be bullied! 

Don't let her be called fat, whale, tub-o-lard, lard ass, chubby, tubby, weeble wobble, or "you have such a pretty face" in this hypothetical hell high school situation!



 It is her birthday on July 5th and hardly anyone is coming to her party!!! 
( gifts required)

Her life is riveting! She didn't get to be 16lbs by laying around all day! Well, actually she did in between troughing, eating flies, marshmallows, and being so so. 


Phatt Kayke  might be plain and crabby, but she is still super cool!!! 

Please add her on facebook!





Sunday, May 24, 2015

Questions about Money? Love? Career? Psychics are Laying Down Waiting to take your calls!

Talk to a LIVE psychic now!!!

We are NOT a hotline as we hire only the best, most carefully screened psychic readers in the business.  

The Psychic Feline Network is your one-stop shopping source for all your supernatural needs. 

 The ancient Egyptians believed cats were magical, and even if by accident, anyone who killed a cat was sentenced to death. 

Cats were dressed in jewels, fed like royalty, and were mummified when they died. As a sign of mourning in Ancient Egypt, owners would shave off their eyebrows and mourn until they grew back!

Bastet--an Egyptian Goddess who could transform into a cat
 What does this have to do with your crazy ex? your desire to know when and where you will meet that special someone? Not much, but this shit is interesting right?

Since Arab Spring, looters have been digging up Egypt's most treasured artifacts and selling them on the black market. Among the valuable finds, were mummified cats. 

(Don't  worry-we are getting to the part that relates to you and how we are the BEST place to go for help)
 
 After robbing them of their gold jewelry, the thieves had no use for the stiff cats. That's when PETMEC (People for the Ethical Treatment of Mummified Egyptian Cats) stepped in. 
 
PETMEC Animal Rescue was created and the dusty darlings were placed in foster homes around the world. They have all found  permanent homes in the largest cat mummy temple in the world! (undisclosed location for security reasons) 
Cat Mummy First Century AD
According to Egyptian mythology, gods and goddesses had the power to transform themselves into different animals. But only ONE deity had the power to become a cat-- Goddess Bastet.

Through sophisticated DNA testing of the mummies at Ancestry.com, it was determined that a freakishly psychic feral cat colony in Chicago were direct descendents of Bastet!

We are lucky to employ these amazing feline royals!

 The Bastet cats are highly accurate, attentive, and wise beyond their ears!  Call now at 1-900-PSI-CATZ   First Time Callers first 5 meownutes free!  $1.50/min 
 fees and taxes may apply
 *All profits go to the PETMEC rescue

*Do  you believe your cat has magical powers? Does he/she come running BEFORE you even open the can? You might just have a descendent of Bastet! We are always looking for readers. If interested, please submit a DNA sample 

Monday, May 18, 2015

Animal Hoarding Moves to a Dangerous New Level

Even though the term is 'crazy cat lady' animal hoarding isn't just reserved for women. There are plenty of men who hoard, THEY are just called collectors. 

Luckily, there is a toy that will not alienate either gender. Crazy Cat Lady figurines are dolls, but they are CALLED action figures.  You get one of these flea bitten beauties in her robe and slippers and SIX cat figures.  

Many crazy cat people across the globe have received these as gifts. Even given with the best of intentions as a subtle kind of intervention, it has created a NEW problem.  Feline fanatics have begun hoarding crazy cat lady cat figures!  When it was discovered that you could buy more cat figures sans the doll, cat statues flew off the shelves!

Granted this isn't as dangerous as collecting ACTUAL cats, but in houses with little space for human habitation, this is monumental.  

Some psychologists believed it might actually be therapeutic and pitched the idea of  adding litter boxes, fleas, and urine spray to the toy. They reasoned that buying the toys might quell the urge to acquire live animals. 

The opposite has happened. The toy allows hoarders to see it more as a fun game than a serious addiction.


So if you are considering buying this as a gift for someone, know that it is not as harmless as it appears. Consider something else cat related like  cat butt refrigerator magnets or a cat hammock.

 Here are links to the extra cat package. If you see this on their favorites list, they might have a problem.


http://www.amazon.com/Dozen-Plastic-2-Cat-Figures/dp/B00362MMBO/ref=pd_bxgy_21_img_z

If you or someone you know is suffering from compulsive toy cat collecting, please seek help at your nearest addictions center.

 This article sponsored by Amazon.com