Hottest New Comic since Sinbad!

Right here!!! The ONLY advice you will EVER need

 FULL STORY HERE

http://thenosemilk.com/special/much-aint-enough-words-live/

Questions about Money? Love? Career? Psychics are Laying Down Waiting to take your calls!

Talk to a LIVE psychic now!!!

We are NOT a hotline as we hire only the best, most carefully screened psychic readers in the business.  

The Psychic Feline Network is your one-stop shopping source for all your supernatural needs. 

 The ancient Egyptians believed cats were magical, and even if by accident, anyone who killed a cat was sentenced to death. 

Cats were dressed in jewels, fed like royalty, and were mummified when they died. As a sign of mourning in Ancient Egypt, owners would shave off their eyebrows and mourn until they grew back!

Bastet--an Egyptian Goddess who could transform into a cat

 What does this have to do with your crazy ex? your desire to know when and where you will meet that special someone? Not much, but this shit is interesting right?

Since Arab Spring, looters have been digging up Egypt's most treasured artifacts and selling them on the black market. Among the valuable finds, were mummified cats. 

(Don't  worry-we are getting to the part that relates to you and how we are the BEST place to go for help)
 
 After robbing them of their gold jewelry, the thieves had no use for the stiff cats. That's when PETMEC (People for the Ethical Treatment of Mummified Egyptian Cats) stepped in. 
 
PETMEC Animal Rescue was created and the dusty darlings were placed in foster homes around the world. They have all found  permanent homes in the largest cat mummy temple in the world! (undisclosed location for security reasons) 

Cat Mummy First Century AD

According to Egyptian mythology, gods and goddesses had the power to transform themselves into different animals. But only ONE deity had the power to become a cat-- Goddess Bastet.

Through sophisticated DNA testing of the mummies at Ancestry.com, it was determined that a freakishly psychic feral cat colony in Chicago were direct descendents of Bastet!

We are lucky to employ these amazing feline royals!

 The Bastet cats are highly accurate, attentive, and wise beyond their ears!  Call now at 1-900-PSI-CATZ   First Time Callers first 5 meownutes free!  $1.50/min 
 fees and taxes may apply
 *All profits go to the PETMEC rescue

*Do  you believe your cat has magical powers? Does he/she come running BEFORE you even open the can? You might just have a descendent of Bastet! We are always looking for readers. If interested, please submit a DNA sample 

ASK RAYMOND!! Advice column--Taking your questions now!

Maybe once or twice in a lifetime, you come across someone so wise and helpful, that you remember their pearls of wisdom forever. You might find yourself repeating it to others who might also benefit from the insight.

Well, we have such a person; his name is Raymond. He is a bit eccentric, doesn't have the best hygiene, is a bit hard to understand, can be lazy (gets so lazy he doesn't always finish his words),and is fanatical about his hair. But he is also wise as a sage and helpful as Dr. Phil if Dr. Phil was actually good.

 We have opened the forum to questions and have carefully and thoughtfully done our best to transcribe Raymond's advice. To call it 'advice' is not really accurate--it is more like 'sparkling life gems'.

This question is from a reader in Omaha, Nebraska. She inquires about peer pressure from the wise oracle, Raymond.

This is a segment called, "Ask Raymond!"

Maybe once or twice in a lifetime, you come across someone so wise and helpful, that you remember their pearls of wisdom forever. You might find yourself repeating it to others who might also benefit from the insight.

Well, we have such a person; his name is Raymond. He is a bit eccentric, doesn't have the best hygiene, is a bit hard to understand, can be lazy (gets so lazy he doesn't always finish his words),and is fanatical about his hair. But he is also wise as a sage and helpful as Dr. Phil if Dr. Phil was actually good.

 We have opened the forum to questions and have carefully and thoughtfully done our best to transcribe Raymond's advice. To call it 'advice' is not really accurate--it is more like 'sparkling life gems'.

Our first question comes from a reader in response to our piece on the Couch Potato Races. She asked Raymond this: 

"Raymond, what do I do if my husband is a couch potato?"