Get Mom a Gift she Will LOVE

Wondering what to give Mom for Mother's Day? 

This depression area photo  has been made into a glorious 1000 piece puzzle.

Puzzles of depressed people are really big right now. 

What better way to make Mom feel good about her life, 

than seeing someone else who had  it worse?

In her leisure time, Mom can painstakingly put together this picture of a migrant woman who worked herself to the bone.

Set up the card table for her, and Mom might not  regret having you, if only for a moment.

Stay tuned for info on the NEXT big thing in time wasters-- murderabilia puzzles!

Dating Bad....

Looking for a BAD BOY a.k.a. Alpha Male to hunt you some wild boar?

 The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Cave women and berry hunters, dominant men might be all wrong for you, but you just KNOW you can transform Mr. Wrong into Mr. Right right?

Grind away at that lump of coal and in a couple of decades you might have a cubic zirconia!!

At ECONmony, you can find your perfectly wrong match with the con-man of your bad dreams. 

After all, what is better than a bad boy? a REFORMED bad boy!!

You will have hours of fun changing him into the law abiding, supportive, teddy bear of a man  you know he is under all that mean, coldness, and selfishness!

Men like project cars, women like project men!

Meet your fears, disappointments, frustrations, dashed hopes and expectations at E CONmony!

Get started now. A brief 3 question survey is all we need to match you with someone completely inappropriate for you on all levels!!

Let the fun begin!!!

Conversation Starters for the Socially Challenged

Do you freeze up and get fuddle-tongued when talking to the opposite sex?  Here are some sure fire ways to get a conversation going.

You ask, "Do you believe in unicorns?"
If they say 'yes' you say, "Me too! I saw one once."
If they say ' no ' you still say, "Me too! I saw one once."

Here is another conversation stimulator:

WARNING: contains sexual language and poor taste

You say, "Do you believe the man should pay or should they go Dutch?"
They say, "Yes, definately. "
You say, "Me too!"
If they say no you say, "I think if a woman pays for herself, she should agree to only suck half his dick."

If you have your eyes set on a trophy wife or husband, this script will get you to the finish line at Olympic speed:

You say, "Hi. I might be ugly, but I'm really rich and powerful."
They say, "I'm in."

You say, "Awesome,I have about 10 weddings and a class reunion coming up. You can be my plus one!"
They say, "Awesome, I love wedding chicken."

OR

You say, "Hi. I might be ugly, but I'm really rich and powerful."
They say, "No amount of money could make you appealing."

You say, "See you on the pole bitch." if female,

OR

 "Barbie called, she wants her Ken back--  dick"
if male

So for all you undateables out there, keep these gems in your wallet or purse.
 Practice until you sound natural.
Don't worry if you don't read the script verbatim.
Feel free to improvise.
Most importantly:   DON'T BE YOURSELF !!!!!!! YOU CAN DO THAT LATER ONCE YOU HOOK THEM~~~

More tips and tricks on the way soon!!!!

The Next Logical Step for Multi-tasking is Cloning

Featured News Writer David Stafford Broke This Story before it was picked up by major news outlets

Animal Hoarding Moves to a Dangerous New Level

Even though the term is 'crazy cat lady' animal hoarding isn't just reserved for women. There are plenty of men who hoard, THEY are just called collectors. 

Luckily, there is a toy that will not alienate either gender. Crazy Cat Lady figurines are dolls, but they are CALLED action figures.  You get one of these flea bitten beauties in her robe and slippers and SIX cat figures.  

Many crazy cat people across the globe have received these as gifts. Even given with the best of intentions as a subtle kind of intervention, it has created a NEW problem.  Feline fanatics have begun hoarding crazy cat lady cat figures!  When it was discovered that you could buy more cat figures sans the doll, cat statues flew off the shelves!

Granted this isn't as dangerous as collecting ACTUAL cats, but in houses with little space for human habitation, this is monumental.  

Some psychologists believed it might actually be therapeutic and pitched the idea of  adding litter boxes, fleas, and urine spray to the toy. They reasoned that buying the toys might quell the urge to acquire live animals. 

The opposite has happened. The toy allows hoarders to see it more as a fun game than a serious addiction.

 

So if you are considering buying this as a gift for someone, know that it is not as harmless as it appears. Consider something else cat related like  cat butt refrigerator magnets or a cat hammock.

 Here are links to the extra cat package. If you see this on their favorites list, they might have a problem.

http://www.amazon.com/12-Assorted-Cats-2-5-inch-PVC/dp/B004THL0ZO/ref=pd_bxgy_21_img_y

http://www.amazon.com/Dozen-Plastic-2-Cat-Figures/dp/B00362MMBO/ref=pd_bxgy_21_img_z

If you or someone you know is suffering from compulsive toy cat collecting, please seek help at your nearest addictions center.

 This article sponsored by Amazon.com