BEWARE THE COHH!!

A band of 'watchers' have been seen peering into the center of peoples' heads. They attempt to hack your crown chakra by persuading you to eat junk food, copious amount of sugar and caffeine. 

Just say No

This thins the outer layer of your aura and creates a small access point the size of a human hair.

If you find yourself thinking thoughts and saying words that are not your own like "Basta!" "Cantankerous" "Open the Winder".

The only way to keep these artificial intelligence from hacking the center of your head and stirring it up like a cotton candy machine is to avoid junk food, sugar, caffeine, and annoying words.

Other elixirs are shampoos containing tar, sandalwood, tea tree oil, blackberry, and wearing ugly hats.

If you feel like your head is spinning like a gravitron then you have probably been violated by the COHH! (center of head hackers)

Awareness if the first step and don't fall for one of their many ploys like "but I'll keep you company and make you smarter and more interesting". 

Better to be boring and own the center of your head. Don't sing "Eye of the Tiger" for days on end in your head!

Awareness is the best tool. Politely asking them to leave will NOT work! Watchers do NOT take hints!

They look like this-humanoid yet shadowy. They have the distinct smell of bacon and chocolate cake.

Fight the COHH HEAD INVASION!  

They are worse than Japanese Beetles!!

(You've been warned. An educated populous is a safer populous)

Conversation Starters for the Socially Challenged

Do you freeze up and get fuddle-tongued when talking to the opposite sex?  Here are some sure fire ways to get a conversation going.

You ask, "Do you believe in unicorns?"
If they say 'yes' you say, "Me too! I saw one once."
If they say ' no ' you still say, "Me too! I saw one once."

Here is another conversation stimulator:

WARNING: contains sexual language and poor taste

You say, "Do you believe the man should pay or should they go Dutch?"
They say, "Yes, definately. "
You say, "Me too!"
If they say no you say, "I think if a woman pays for herself, she should agree to only suck half his dick."

If you have your eyes set on a trophy wife or husband, this script will get you to the finish line at Olympic speed:

You say, "Hi. I might be ugly, but I'm really rich and powerful."
They say, "I'm in."

You say, "Awesome,I have about 10 weddings and a class reunion coming up. You can be my plus one!"
They say, "Awesome, I love wedding chicken."

OR

You say, "Hi. I might be ugly, but I'm really rich and powerful."
They say, "No amount of money could make you appealing."

You say, "See you on the pole bitch." if female,

OR

 "Barbie called, she wants her Ken back--  dick"
if male

So for all you undateables out there, keep these gems in your wallet or purse.
 Practice until you sound natural.
Don't worry if you don't read the script verbatim.
Feel free to improvise.
Most importantly:   DON'T BE YOURSELF !!!!!!! YOU CAN DO THAT LATER ONCE YOU HOOK THEM~~~

More tips and tricks on the way soon!!!!