Conversation Starters for the Socially Challenged

Do you freeze up and get fuddle-tongued when talking to the opposite sex?  Here are some sure fire ways to get a conversation going.

You ask, "Do you believe in unicorns?"
If they say 'yes' you say, "Me too! I saw one once."
If they say ' no ' you still say, "Me too! I saw one once."

Here is another conversation stimulator:

WARNING: contains sexual language and poor taste

You say, "Do you believe the man should pay or should they go Dutch?"
They say, "Yes, definately. "
You say, "Me too!"
If they say no you say, "I think if a woman pays for herself, she should agree to only suck half his dick."

If you have your eyes set on a trophy wife or husband, this script will get you to the finish line at Olympic speed:

You say, "Hi. I might be ugly, but I'm really rich and powerful."
They say, "I'm in."

You say, "Awesome,I have about 10 weddings and a class reunion coming up. You can be my plus one!"
They say, "Awesome, I love wedding chicken."

OR

You say, "Hi. I might be ugly, but I'm really rich and powerful."
They say, "No amount of money could make you appealing."

You say, "See you on the pole bitch." if female,

OR

 "Barbie called, she wants her Ken back--  dick"
if male

So for all you undateables out there, keep these gems in your wallet or purse.
 Practice until you sound natural.
Don't worry if you don't read the script verbatim.
Feel free to improvise.
Most importantly:   DON'T BE YOURSELF !!!!!!! YOU CAN DO THAT LATER ONCE YOU HOOK THEM~~~

More tips and tricks on the way soon!!!!