Get Mom a Gift she Will LOVE

Wondering what to give Mom for Mother's Day? 

This depression area photo  has been made into a glorious 1000 piece puzzle.

Puzzles of depressed people are really big right now. 

What better way to make Mom feel good about her life, 

than seeing someone else who had  it worse?

In her leisure time, Mom can painstakingly put together this picture of a migrant woman who worked herself to the bone.

Set up the card table for her, and Mom might not  regret having you, if only for a moment.

Stay tuned for info on the NEXT big thing in time wasters-- murderabilia puzzles!

Sweet Lullaby by the Naughty List Bitches

https://www.facebook.com/fukcshitup/

Try it--you'll like it!!! Get Paid 2 Master Ebates!!

Always wanted to make money MasterEbating, but don't want to spread your DNA?  Don't want your heart to leap every time someone knocks on the door that looks like you?

Here is your bio - fluid free alternative!  Buy shit you don't need and get cash back to buy MORE shit you don't need!!!

Sign up today!!!! Use that dominant hand to click here!!!

Master Ebates!!




(WOMEN:  you probably already do this because you handle the money as your male counterpart would spend it all on mounted moose heads and neon beer signs. The money earned can be his allowance!!)Master Ebates!!

Great New Single from Couch Potato Records

This goes out to all the motivationally challenged Dads out there!
This single is so hot, IKEA has contacted us about
 featuring their "my new girlfriend is upholstered" line of couches,
chairs, and loveseats in the video!

You saw it here first at The Telepath Telegraph!!

Get Off the Couch Dad, Get Off the Couch

written by Diane Keys; performed by The Big He

The Puffington Host Reports on Inflation

A group of overweight children belly flopping into the river, as well as inflation, has caused the river to rise to dangerous levels and flood.

Solar Flares Creating Savants?

NASAW researchers have found a correlation between the high amount of solar flare activity and babies being born with 'idiot-savant' syndrome. Savan Patel, age 3, of Clavenburg, Iowa, takes issue with this term. She prefers the term Moro-Savant (short for Moron). "Idiot is such a pejorative word. For all you TRUE dummies out there, an idiot has the least intelligence on the IQ scale. This is equivalent to someone who is mentally challenged. An imbecile is not quite as dumb as an idiot and denotes MODERATE retardation. For those, like me with an IQ betwixt and between 51 and 70, we have the highest level of intelligence." Savan's special 'savant' qualifying gift, is her ability to recite every dumb move anyone has ever made, be it people she knows personally, or those of celebrities, world leaders, zoo animals, etc. This has not made her popular, but she has been approached by the government to be a political consultant when she turns 4. She hopes to be out of Pull-Ups by then. This impressive little moronic genius, is unable to crawl, drool, feed herself from a bottle, or operate a pacifier. The majority of children with Moro-Savant syndrome have musical, artistic, or photographic memory abilities. There have been other cases of 'acquired' Moro-Savant syndrome. To learn how to acquire this, please contact your local mental health facility.