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Showing posts with label parody. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parody. Show all posts

Saturday, May 20, 2017

World's Smartest Cat Discovered


"Brainy McBrainerstein" has set the World's Record for the cat with the highest IQ.

His proud owners attribute it to playing classical music while he was in utero, playing Baby Cat Einstein on a loop, and a pure vegan diet.



Brainy is able to solve complicated  problems and fill in the bubbles by dipping his tail in #2 ink, like his ancient ancestors.

The IQ test was minimally adapted:

"You are being chased by a dog running 5 miles an hour. 
You need to stop and lick your butt. How long will it take the dog to eat you?"

"Write an essay on something that makes you purr."







Brainy does his owners' taxes, predicts weather, trades stocks and bonds, writes cursive, calligraphy, and can pinpoint the catnip in  100 mile radius. 

He calculates everything based on  complex algorithms he developed with


Zuckerberg's cat. 

On a side note, "Little Fuckerberg"  had a facebook page that was reported (by an anonymouse source) and taken down for not having a verifiable name.



B McB  predicts human beings will be extinct by the year 3000,  by which he will have achieved immortality 9 times over.


Brainy McBrainerstein  in action!!!

He will be going live on instagram every Monday from 2 -3 feline time, and taking questions!!



Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Napping Students Robbed!


Southern Illinois University is hosting "nap-ins" for their tender students to feel safe from racism and sexism.




 SIU students are being urged to sleep and dream of diversity.


Unfortunately, some other students are interested in becoming one of their nightmares.


A group of, what appears to be 4 males and 1 female, has been allegedly entering the nap zone with less altruistic intentions. 


They often carry teddy bears, and wear Pink Panther onesies to avoid their fascist capitalistic desires being detected.





It is believed they pulled off this caper, by studying the brain waves of napping students  virtually from the science lab. The panthers were able to determine when everyone was in REM sleep.


Security cameras confirmed the  assailants were not carrying any weapons except, perhaps,  their long pink tails. If someone roused, they just misted lavender in the air.





They were able to rifle through backpacks, coats, and even wallets from heavy sleepers. 


It is believed they got away with over $6,000  worth of nappers' belongings. 


They have not been caught and there are no suspects at this time. 


If you have any information about the Pink Panther 5, please call SIU Campus Security.


Sunday, December 20, 2015

The Naughty List Bitches Release Another Song!

The Telepath Telegraph does not condone or not condone any of the content, viewpoint, language, inappropriateness, political incorrectness of the NLB. We also do not support their Pro-Drug stance, but we sure love their music!!!  PUNK IS NOT DEAD!!

You heard it hear:  their new release called "TAXIDERMIDICK"

WARNING:  rated R for raunchy, T for tacky and XXX for inappropriate, rude, politically incorrect, and just plain wrong


https://www.facebook.com/fukcshitup/

Sunday, November 22, 2015

You Will Only See it Here at The Telepath Telegraph!!! (except for their fan page https://www.facebook.com/fukcshitup/)

Notorious Underground cult PMS PUNK band, The Naughty List Bitches are back! And they are edgier and menstrual as ever!

After several break ups and make ups, the band got it together for at least a day to produce this fine hit single

"MANMEL TOE JOE BLOW"




Featuring Vixen, Candy, and Mean Sheena on vocals, Harpie on the Harp, the delivery dude on accordian, some drunk bitch on the beer bottles and straws, and other unidentifiable ambient noises from the drive through liquor store.

Warning:  You will NOT be able to get this song out of your head.  


The WHOLE family will love it



Prepare for a full mind Joe  Blowing!

HERE IT IS!! CLICK HERE OR THE LINK BELOW IF THIS ONE DOESN"T WORK BECAUSE THE NLB BROKE THE INTERNET!!!




https://www.wevideo.com/view/518546723