26 Reasons You Want to Go to Jail in Norway

Norwegian maximum-security prisons are being called "cushy", "luxurious" and "like camp". Inmates are free to roam outdoor gardens, cook in fully stocked kitchens, enjoy the flat-screen televisions, mini-fridges and computers in each cell. 

They have access to a rock climbing wall, recording studio and other amenities rivaling an expensive American hotel. Murder? Rape? Bombing? your punishment is to fish and great a great tan on our beach! 

(https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/29/maga ... rison.html)
(https://www.theguardian.com/society/201 ... n-in-world

Here are 26 Reasons You Want to Go to Jail in Norway

1.Prison riots involve playful pillow fights

2.Low recidivism rate of Norwegian inmates raises odds of American tourists getting off the waitlist

3.Get henna tattoos

4.Get in the best shape of your life without country club fees

5.Launder your high thread count sheets and thirsty towels

6.Demand heated toilet seats be fixed on feedback forms

7.Leave prison with more career skills than an Ivy League graduate

8.Lockdown means the snack cabinet is padlocked after 9pm

9.The only handcuffs are fuzzy ones in the romantic getaway chalet

10.Rigorous schedule for rapists to practice consensual sex

11.The only penalties are breaking a pinky swear

12.Audition for prison plays like “Jailhouse Rock” and “West Side Story”

13.Earn merit badges for serving soft time

14.No need to join, you're already one of the gang

15.Soap on a rope is Coconut Salt Scrub and an exfoliating body brush

16.Climb walls for fun without risk of rope burn from escape attempts

17.Kids go home after visits giving you time to catch up on reading

18.Get dessert if you eat all of your broccoli

19.Fishing, swimming and laying on the beach gives you plenty of time to think about what you’ve done

20.Earn privileges by saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’

21.No gangs just teams on game night

22.Airbnb your room to people trying to break in

23.The only life sentences are the ones you solve on Wheel of Fortune

24.Bed checks have turndown service

25.The only weapons are irresistible charm and pouting

26.Get great selfies while having tea in the garden

27.Attend festive going away parties on release dates

28.Receive parting gifts like a t-shirt that says “I survived maximum-security prison and I can make a mean souffle!”

Pure Hilarity! Best Comedian since Sinbad!!!!! Part 1, 2, & 3

Radical Take-Over of Burger King!!!

Radical Feminists are mad as hell and aren't going to take-out anymore!!

In a move towards gender equality at eating establishments, the National Organization of Women, has  procured a deal with Pat, to be the official representative of a new franchise called "Burger Pat".

Denying conspiracy theorists accusations that Pat actually stands for Patriarchy, and that white males are the brains behind the take-over, the change comes after Burger King was sued for being sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic. 

The suit alleges that , mostly female, customers suffered emotional trauma after feeling the name King in Burger King, created a hostile eating environment. 

Many women came forward to say the creepy King made them feel dirty and oppressed.

 Others believed the king was spying on them in the binary restrooms, as they witnessed his eyes following them from a picture on the wall.

Now, customers can enjoy the Whopper Pat and Whopper Pat Jr, in a  gender neutral and all inclusive 'safe zoned' , as the sign reads, junk food emporium. 

But don't worry, Burger Pats  will continue to serve the same delicious meat-neutral, meat-ambiguous burgers.

The best and most progressive move? They offer genderless bathrooms that  simply have a picture of pat on them.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

Bathrooms are for customer use only, but you can get a large order of fries for the price of a Sacagawea dollar.

Move over Burger King, there isn't a new queen in town, there's Pat.  

Pat isn't gender neutral, Pat is gender free--just like Burger Pats' coffee is on the first Nomanday of every lunar month!

Feeling Low?More Cow Bell!!

Shia LaBeef motivational pre-trick-or-treating speech and warm up!!!

A kid's Impression of the Classic Middle School Gym Teacher

Lil SoFlyPants Breakout Hit Single Drops Today

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Selfies for Donald Trump!!

Deemed the most racist video ever....are tortilla records offensive?

3

Someone deemed this the most racist video ever.  I think some might  consider it racist, but then there are people  of all races who are quick to deem just about anything  racist. I once had an Asian friend who asked me where I wanted to go to dinner.  I said, "How about sushi?" and he responded, "Why? Because I'm Japanese?"

 cartoon by Diane Keys and illustration by Jean Oliveira  originally published here: http://thenosemilk.com/news/personal/food/name-slur/

We have become so paranoid about even mentioning the WORDS "black," "white," etc., for fear of being labelled racist,  that open communication is not even possible. None of these colors exist as it relates to skin color, as NO ONE is actually white , yellow, red, black: we are all shades of brown.

 Cartoon by Diane Keys and illustration by Jean Oliveira original article published at thenosemilk.com

We need to be able to laugh at ourselves as a society to begin to break down the stereotypes; that's what Key & Peele, Dave Chappelle, Carlos Mencia, Sarah Silverman, etc. do.

Bringing up volatile topics in a humorous way makes it less threatening. Comedians and artists  historically push the bounds of 'political correctness'. Students of life, they create change by sharing their observations. They bring things to light, point out the absurdity of human behavior in many cases, and let us begin to deal with it!

Sorry, but this video  is very funny and I think the INTENTION is what makes things hurtful or not. This doesn't appear to be done in a mean spirited way.

 Obviously, there are some words that shouldn't be used as they can only be intended to diminish people. Not just in terms of race, but gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity etc. But let's break through the double standards, ignorance, intolerance, but mostly the hyper-sensitivity that makes everyone walk on egg shells! 

*Full disclosure:  I am a light tannish/beige person and some of my best friends are black cats, black dogs, and television characters (all somewhere on the brown spectrum)