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Showing posts with label stars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stars. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Researchers Studying Eye Abnormalities

Researchers have identified unusual mutations in the eyes of people who look through rose colored glasses.

 

 Not only do their eyes dialate more when looking at beautiful things like flowers, but a slight color variation can be measured.

Subjects with the rose filter, had a slight transluscent glow around the edges of their cornea. This appears to be a mutation among a small percentage of the population.

 It has a disturbing effect on iris scanners, which are already used widely in the Rusondti Region.

 "Rosies" were able to DISABLE the machines by frying the circuits. Researchers can only guess that this was due to the rose rays reacting to the ultralloy in the scanners.






 The technical term for "Rosies" is HyperacuteBiologenisis, named after the scientist who first discovered it, Dr. Hypera of Tiudskil, Poland.

 There were similar findings in a group of test subjects chosen because they self-identified (and it was confirmed by family and friends) people with 'stars in their eyes'.

 It turns out that the 'stars' are actually lenses. It does not appear that they are implanted as they all report having certain abilities all of their lives.

The lenses work almost like cameras that give them photographic memories, image storage capability, and night vision.

The eyes of the "starries" are not unlike the reflector feature of cats' eyes.

 The starries have no problem looking directly at the sun and eclipses. Under a microscope, their eyes can be seen changing from red to blue. Their intense gaze caused seizures in epileptics, but no other dangers were reported.



 

 The technical name for Starries is Astrolumenoptica. Scientists want to ensure the public that there is NO connection between these conditions and the recent outbreak of reptilian eye believed to be an airborne illness contracted in swampy areas.


 


If you think you might have either condition, please contact

 THE CENTER FOR EYE ANOMALIES AND GENETIC MUTATION EXPERIMENTATION (TCFEAAGME--TCFEAA for short)

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Environmentally Friendly Transportation Alternative!

You can be the first person on your block to own your very own Magic Carpet! Safe for the environment, run on thought power alone!

 Financing is available-good credit?bad credit?suspended driver's license?legally blind?legally insane?no insurance? --no one is turned away!

Magic Carpet Tours© are an interactive way for you to travel the world and learn the many uses for your flying carpet-or go off the grid and explore for yourself!

THREE different designs to choose from:

Comes in Automatic or Stick Shift

Get a Personalized License Plate for an additional charge

Lamp and Genie Not Included  

THIS COULD BE YOU!



Chics may not like rugs, but they sure do love carpets!!!!
YOU literally riding into the sunset

 
If you buy now, you will receive one year of FREE steam cleaning service. 

These won't last long-they are imported from Monaco by Max Shellman, Agent to the Stars

Contact Shellgame, Shaman, & Keys today!!
 1-800-GOT-MAGI

Global Guided Magic Carpet Tours
Celebrity Home Fly overs, special requests
and more! 


Shellgame, Shaman, & Keys are proud to offer the following services:
Untalent Coaching and Representation by Max Shellman
 and Diane Keys-- Agent and Psychic to the Stars



Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Hiring Frenzy at Target

Target reports that the number of applicants has skyrocketed since #alexfromtarget went viral. A line wound around the block this morning when it was announced the corporate giant was hiring. One after the other of aspiring models, boy band wannabes, Disney star protogees, and aspiring youtube stars were dressed in the finest khakis and red polos. When interviewing, one potential target employee said she hopes to become #desireefromtarget. When asked what her plan to do so was she replied, "I'll be posing every chance I get- in housewares, electronics, anywhere there are security cameras." Many could be seen mugging for the surveillance cameras and thrusting themselves in front of customers with smart phones. Target Executives had this to say, "It might turn the store into a bit of a zoo, but it will save us a fortune on mannequins. If they are able to work effectively while finding their light, we will be satisfied. Besides, we've never had this good looking of a work force and we all know sex sells." So look for your next trip to Target to look more like a photo shoot for Abercrombie & Fitch. Desiree can probably help you find the PERFECT hair product!