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Friday, June 5, 2015

Spooks Psychic Cafe Busted for Hiring Illegal Aliens!!

Spooks Psychic Cafe, in Havant, Hampshire, is embroiled in scandal once again.  


Spooks' owner, known only as Z, first made the news when the grammar police (the retired English teachers at the yarn shop) complained that their sign promoted bad grammar and reflected badly on the neighborhood.  


Lovely Cotton Brain created by the Havant Competitive Knitters Association  


The elderly women at "The Knitpik" demanded the sign be written correctly for fear the spookers were promoting illiteracy. (I personally find it a bit hypocritical, given the misspelling of Knitpik, but that's neither here nor scare.) 

Z told reporters, "I will NOT be bullied into using an apostrophe. They indicate possessiveness, and we do not get involved in possession of any kind."   



But what DO they get involved in at this unusual cafe?


Here is what their menu says:



We first opened for business in XXXX and have been serving Havant ever since.

We offer many kinds of food, such as X, and larger dishes such as Y.

Why not stop by and give them a try?

The matter with the knitpikers resolved brilliantly once they tasted Spooks incredible HL Tea. They passed on the tarot and decided it was best not to inquire about the ingredients of HL Tea.  

Yet, Spooks faces a new problem. Z is being investigated for allegedly hiring illegal aliens. It is rumored, her very psychic workers, are undocumented greys who slipped through the BardoLand Border.  

Many visitors to the cafe were shocked to hear this as they couldn't believe they served food!


 It is rumored that this one-time patron met with untold misfortune after giving this 1 star review:


What Charlie didn't realize apparently, was that had he gone through the black velvet curtains in the back of the cafe marked "Our Food is to Die For!!," he would have been served a heaping helping of X or Y by Z!   

Only psychic people and/or victims of government mind control  are able to find the velvet curtain for some reason.  Others get scammed out of their pounds and have implants put in their heads without their knowledge.  



 The cafe has been accused of exploiting the grey aliens with long hours and low pay. Z provided evidence showing that she does NOT in fact PAY the big-eyed busboys,waitstaff, cooks, and surgical techs. 


 The illegals work on a volunteer basis in exchange for human implantation privileges.  Long hours are also not a problem as they require no sleep. 


   It appears that Spooks Psychic Cafe will once again dodge a bullet. Business has been better than ever since they introduced their Tea, Tarot, Time Travel, and Tamale special.


  1. Once an English teacher, always an English teacher, eh? Honestly, if it come out that theyre all evil, I wouldnt be surprised. Learning grammer has always been an uneccisary evil. Spelling too.

    1. agreed-grammar has never made much sense and now with spell check it isn't as important. I love how you spelled Uneccisary--see THAT makes sense as you spelled it phonetically!!


Spare the aliens a brain hack- Just say what's on your mind!