Animal Communicator Works with Cloned Sheep

Animal communicator Dominica Palavi, is famous for her work with depressed clones. 

Palavi, also known as the "sheep brusher", was brought to the Sheepish Petting Zoo to do an assessment with a cloned sheep named Furrelise.

Furrelise began isolating herself from the herd, moping, and overeating at the beginning of the summer season. 

Although  patient confidentiality would normally prevent Palavi from discussing what her client reveals in therapy, Furrelise gave her permission to discuss it in hopes of helping other clones.

Palavi says, "Furrelise is  having an identity crisis. Having been created with human genes, she doesn't feel 'sheep' enough for the sheep or 'human' enough for the humans. "

"Her emotional eating has created conflict among her otherwise content herd. She is eating more than her share of hay and kudzu and her constant whiny bleating is bringing them all down."

According to Palavi, Clone Identity Crisis (CIC) is not exclusive to cloned sheep; it has also been observed in cloned frogs, cats, rabbits, horses, donkeys, pigs, goats and cattle. 

"Some people think clones have no souls." Palavi explains, "Not only do they have souls, they also have human consciousness."

How does she know this? Palavi says Furrelise has body image issues like any other female teenager. She is highly critical of her naturally crimped and kinky hair. She feels extremely self-conscious when sheared, and wishes she had short fur instead of her long 'dirty blonde' curls.

What does Furrelise want petting zoo visitors to know? Palavi translates this message, 

"Please don't let your kids stick their hands in my face. In fact, don't let your kids come anywhere near me. I hate kids. I would love to find a stylist who could permanently straighten my hair. Highlights would be nice too. Cloned sheep are looked at the same as black sheep, or maybe I'm just projecting?"

Palavi feels certain her cognitive behavioral  therapy treatment plan  will help Furrelise find self-acceptance in a couple of years. 

The weekly sessions are being paid for by an insensitive petting zoo visitor who settled out of court. Charges were filed for the emotional damage caused by comments made to Furrelise like "look at the mutton chops on that one!"

If you have any cloned animals you suspect are having emotional issues i.e. depression or body dysmorphic  syndrome, please contact the TT editors and we will put you in touch with Dr. Sheep Brusher!

Rare Photos Taken on Surface of Pur Polaria

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

 "The
Purple Planet" (Pur Polaria) is an Earth-like planet believed to be capable of supporting life. Pur Polaria got its' name from the purple bacteria (photosynthetic microorganism to be exact) on its' surface, observed from space by  astrophysicists.

In the early stages of discovery, it was believed Pur Polaria was merely filled with distinctive spectroscopic forests of fungi. In spite of its' beautiful color, little interest was generated in this particular Exoplanet.

 It was originally recorded that the planet aimlessly orbited rocky, bland colored stars. But interest spiked and popular myths abounded after Dr. Ian O'Neill wrote an article entitled: 

The First Aliens We Discover May Be Purple

Intense investigations focused on the purple planet in hopes of finding either one-eyed, one-horned, or flying purple people eaters. Did Pur Polaria have the needed  Earth-like dimensions? Did it  orbit a sun-like rocky yet bland colored star? Apparently yes, but their sun appeared to be dying as evidenced by this astonishing photo:

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Among the violet microbial mats between the Archean Earths, amateur and professional astronomers alike were able to identify entire  tribes of man-beasts! (Photo below:)

 With the use of radiative transfer modalities, they captured this shocking photo of a planet that has clearly become a combat zone. They estimate Pur Polaria has been plagued by endless internal war  for over 100 years. ( The photo belows shows evidence of mass graves and high tech weaponry damage to the planet's crust):

 There is much debate over this next rare photo. Many well-respected astrophysicists believe this is an encrypted message from the man-beasts. Is it a call for help? request for directions? is it literal? figurative? :

More will be known when cryptologic linguists investigate further. Scientists are also questioning if  Prince might be a PurPolarian messenger of some kind.

Hillary to Make Billary the First Laddy?