Are You in Good Shape? The Geometry of Fitness

Are you an hourglass, but what to be an oval? Are you a diamond, but want to be a rectangle? Or do you want to be a circle in front, but a pear in back?

Walking, carrying, lifting, pressing, caressing these different shapes in varying weights can help you sculpt your body into your desired form! 

 Whether you want to morph into another shape like this:

 

 or you'd rather be more WildeBeest and less Giraffe

If you feel your shape has become mishapen into the WRONG shape  like this:

You can take control and become a sculptor like Michelangelo with GeoShape Total Body Sculpting System !

 Our software will devise the perfect daily 2 hour GeoShape workout for your specific shape goals!

With our advanced GeoShape Vertex system, you could even turn yourself into this series of complex intersecting shapes like this: 

The possibilities are endless, not to mention senseless!!

Don't Delay--Become a New Shape Today!

50 year Old Bacteria Found Under Hippie Van!!

Scientist have discovered a rare strain of bacteria called "Euphoriabia Susiformis" under an abandoned 50 year old hippie van. It is showing promise at fighting against pathogenic strains of gram. It is also a very effective rusting agent for crafters wanting the 'Old West' look.

The Van itself IS for sale. Interested buyers and van enthusiasts can visit http://jalopnik.com/5816598/the-ten-creepiest-vans/ for more info.

THE DOWSING DOCTOR

After attempting to remove his own appendix, Board Certified surgeon, Dr. Nicholas Fry, had a life changing near-death experience. After his recovery, he took a completely non-conventional approach to medicine. Many skeptics criticize him, calling it "Quackery", "Voodoo", and "Junk Science", but the proof is in his amazing track record of successful surgeries. His surgical tech had this to say, "At first I thought he had lost his mind. I didn't know much about astrology except what I had read in the paper. Now we do all our scheduling by charting the most beneficial astrological times." But the most revolutionary 'tool' Dr. Fry now has sterilized and placed next to his scalpel, is a dowsing rod. He believes that he is now channeling the spirit of Master Healer himself--Jesus. He uses the dowsing rod to lead him to the exact location of the patient's problem area.

Only when he feels a sort of 'buzz' as he describes it, does he make any cuts. It might seem outrageous, but he tells the story of a man that went in for potential heart surgery. They were shocked when the dowsing rod led them to his head area. Turns out his heart problems were actually anxiety related to an axe stuck in the side of his head! Dr. Fry doesn't know what the next step will be for him. He is considering opening a clinic devoted to pet cosmetic surgery. He wants to give back to all the ugly animals out there who suffer ridicule at dog parks, doggie day care centers, grooming salons, etc. No doubt he will be using his dowsing rod to locate the dogs' ugliest features.