Are You in Good Shape? The Geometry of Fitness

Are you an hourglass, but what to be an oval? Are you a diamond, but want to be a rectangle? Or do you want to be a circle in front, but a pear in back?

Walking, carrying, lifting, pressing, caressing these different shapes in varying weights can help you sculpt your body into your desired form! 

 Whether you want to morph into another shape like this:

 

 or you'd rather be more WildeBeest and less Giraffe

If you feel your shape has become mishapen into the WRONG shape  like this:

You can take control and become a sculptor like Michelangelo with GeoShape Total Body Sculpting System !

 Our software will devise the perfect daily 2 hour GeoShape workout for your specific shape goals!

With our advanced GeoShape Vertex system, you could even turn yourself into this series of complex intersecting shapes like this: 

The possibilities are endless, not to mention senseless!!

Don't Delay--Become a New Shape Today!

Fast Food Giant Piloting "McBrains" in States that Rank Lowest for Literacy!

McDonalds sales have been steadily declining making some wonder if Ronald might be hanging up his clown shoes soon. In an effort to revive the company, they are offering McBrains for a limited time only in limited markets. Which markets? In states that consisently score low for literacy.

 It is believed that lack of protein could be the cause of poor reading skills in these areas. It is also a widespread belief that eating brains increases intelligence. No word on where they will be sourcing their brains, but since when do McD frequent fliers question where that tasty food comes from?

 The McBrain meal will include a McBrain sandwich (with or without cheese), special sauce, small fries and a soda. You can  choose if you want grey matter from the right or left hemisphere.

McD Execs joked, "You'll love it! But then, that was a no brainer."

Would You Like Raw Meat With That?

Are you one of the many people deciding to eat like our ancestors? Are you also a sports fan? Good news. Stadium Concession stands in Oregon are beta testing an offering for raw foodies. Raw Meat on a stick will now be served along side hot dogs, deep fried candy corn, funnel fingers, chili nachos, and beer battered fries. If this catches on, developers are considering the use of very long sticks so people can avoid long lines. They are also planning to offer soda alternatives such as soy milk and chai tea.